The kids have been pretty well behaved the last few days, just a couple of little squabbles. Yesterday Cat decided to bring Matthew to an abrupt halt on his bicycle. She tried to grab the handle bars and caused him to wipe out. His elbow got scraped up a little and his knee really got scratched up.
Brought him in and got him all cleaned up. Sat them both down on the couch and was trying to decide on what to do with Cat. She's not usually one to pull a stunt like this. But to make it worse she was acting like she didn't care, so not like her. I was about to blow my top but I took a deep breath and it hit me- Matthew gets to choose her consequence. I told him he had to be fair and resonable, but just. I offered some suggestions, but said it was his decision.
Now you have to understand Matthew. He is very hot headed and has trouble controling his anger. I took him to anger management but unfortuantely I don't believe it worked much.
I gave him a few minutes and then asked him if he had come up with anything. He wanted more time to calm down. Wow! Caitlin of course is getting really antsy.
4 hours later Matthew had still not came up with anything. He told me that it was really hard and he didn't like it. I looked at him and said, "Now you know what it's like for me. It's not a fun job. There's nothing pleasant about it."
Cat's consequence-- Matthew forgave her.
I don't know that Cat really learned anything from this. Maybe that her brother can show compassion. But does she realize it?
But Matthew learned about controling his anger, calming down, being logical and compassionate, patient....